Working on me.

Ugh how I have failed miserably at the reverb broads blogging! It is making it even harder to get back to blogging because I prefer to run away from things I've failed at. Well, not this time. So here goes...time for this fantabulous lady to fess up to all the reasons that I've failed at blogging.
1. Boy troubles. They suck. They are a bitch. And they happen. I haven't had a successful relationship in my life. Unfortunately, I'm still on that path. My love still is there for a certain someone, but he has some things he has to resolve before I'm willing to just pass my heart back to him. Hoping for good things in 2012, because it has caused more than a few tears in 2011!
2. Work issues. I keep trying to love my job. It pays well, and I have a lot of freedom as far as what hours I work and time off, but I get little satisfaction from it. It's not something that makes me feel like I'm challenging myself to be the best me i can be. Still don't know what to do about this one other than keep my eyes peeled for positions that intrigue me.
3. The big one....I've spent this month focused on ME! Figuring out what I want and need out of life. A huge part of this is my new physical activity. I'm not dieting. I'm not aiming to lose weight. I just don't want to huff and puff just from carrying in the groceries! I've found a walking buddy/therapist whom I walk with three times a week. She's an amazing woman. So positive. She mutes a lot of the negative in me...makes me want to see more of the good in life. And my friend got a job as a personal trainer. I'm one of his guinea pigs. He's killing me, but it is awesome! Muscles I haven't felt in years HURT! I've only got a couple of more weeks to work with him, so I've focused a lot of my energy on that.
Being a part of this lovely group of ladies has been awesome....I feel like I let everyone down by not writing more, but I'm guessing and hoping that you can all understand that I had to do a little me first time!
I wish you all a happy and healthy new year!

Day 13: I'm kinda, sorta okay...I guess.

What are three things you are better at than most people?

I took a few days off from the blog. It's been awesome writing it, but I needed a few days to focus on some other things I've been working on lately. Now I'm jumping back in (after some prompting from my sister) on the hardest prompt I've tackled yet.

I know there are things I'm good at....and I'm honestly probably too eager to let everyone know when I discover them. It's my need for validation. I need people to tell me "good job" "you're awesome" "you're the best" etc... But, I'm not sure there's things I'm the best at...at least not any that I'm all that excited about. Who cares if I'm awesome (the best actually) at finding lost clothes at work? That's not really anything to be proud of....though if you ask my coworkers and bosses, I still want to hear how awesome I am when I find a lost item.

So...what am I better at than everybody else?

1. Remembering useless information. Not something to be exceptionally proud of, but it is great when playing trivia...and when my sister tells a story wrong and I can correct her....which she LOVES. Which leads me to number....

2. Bugging the crap out of my sister. Nobody can do it quite like me. She says she hates it, but deep down I know she loves it. Someday she should just admit it. Doit.

3. Picking presents. I don't know how I do it, but I'm awesome at finding just the right gift for just about anyone. I get at least one or two emails or phone calls for help every time the holidays roll around. And I love giving gifts. I love seeing peoples' faces when they open the gifts...even if they aren't from me.

So, I'm not the best at anything great, but I'm kinda, sorta okay....I guess.

December 8: Berrrry Intewesting

Why blog? Why do you or why do you like to blog (recognizing that these are not always the same thing)? Courtesy of my fantastically awesome sister, Kristen.

As I'm sure you have figured out by now, I probably need therapy. I have all kinds of issues and hang-ups. I like to think of them as personality quirks, but if I'm completely realistic, I know my head could use a little shrinking. Instead of letting some little weasel wearing glasses, smoking a pipe and wearing a cardigan force me to lay on a couch and tell him all of my deepest and darkest secrets while he says, "um hmm" and "berrrrryyy intewesting," I prefer to spill it out to all of you.

I've been thinking about blogging for a long time. I've read my sister's blog and Kassie's blog. I've talked about it with my sister, but could never come up with a reason. Why would anyone want to read what I have to say? What would I have to say? Would anyone ever read? Would I have to hold back so as not to hurt feelings?  So when the opportunity to participate in a month long blogging extravaganza with a bunch of people that I mostly don't know, I thought, well, now is my chance. May as well try it out.

It's been awesome. I've loved writing. I've loved reading. I've loved commenting. And most of all (because I love validation in all forms) I've loved reading your comments on what I say.

Doit.

Who or what makes you laugh so hard that milk shoots out of your nose and why? Slapstick, dry witty comedy, your kids, Monty Python? Courtsey of Kassie.

This would be my fifth attempt at writing this. I keep coming up with more and more things that make me laugh. At first, I could really think of was myself. Yeah yeah. It's vain. I'm so funny, but really I am. Ask my sister. But as I was typing I kept coming up with more and more things and people that make me laugh. So, in no particular order...

• This scene, well montage really, from Starsky & Hutch. The movie is horribly stupid, yet I can't help but watch it when it's on. You should too. Doit. (Just don't tell my sister to doit. She HATES it!)
• My nieces and nephews. All of them. There are so many things about them, from Carl as "Suit-Bag Boy" to Topher being Topher, to Aedan denying his monkey heritage, that make me giggle.
• Tommy Boy. More accurately, quoting entire scenes from Tommy Boy with my brother-in-law, Sean. Not only is the movie hilarious, the fact that it slightly annoys my sister when we go on quoting rampages is also quite hilarious.
• My bosses and coworkers. I don't think I've gone a day without laughing at least once, since I've worked here. Especially at my boss who thinks it is completely hilarious to repeat every idea I spout out in different wording and act like it was his own.
• Certain movies....in no particular order, that make me lose it every single time I watch them....Knocked Up, Saved,  Home for the Holidays, Forgetting Sarah Marshall....I'm certain there are more, but those are the few that came to mind.

I know there's more things. I'm certain of it, but my sense of humor is hiding this week, so this is all I could come up with. 

December 6: I don't wanna. You can't make me!

 

List 10 things you would never do.

Yes! I mean, no, you would never do!

Courtesy of Katrina of katrinatripled.blogspot.com

I'm not a very adventurous person. I'm very anxious and more than a little clumsy, so I tend to like to stay in a comfort bubble, so coming up with a list of 10 things I wouldn't do should be easy, right? WRONG! I've been contemplating this list for a few days now and have been struggling to come up with 10 things that you could never ever in a million years, EVER, talk me into trying out. As I type, I still don't know of more than three or four things, so I'm hoping that typing it out will help me come up with a few more. Deep breath....here goes...

1.) Skydive, bungee jump, hand-glide, cliff dive, mountain climb....pretty much anything that involves me being high up. When you get results like this lovely bruise, just from wearing a pair of too-high heels and trying to walk, you tend to like to keep your feet (and the rest of your person) as close to the ground as possible. 

2.) Do drugs. Yes, I smoked a pot a couple of times when I was younger. I will own up to that. But I have never, and will never, tried any other illegal narcotics. Nor will I ever smoke pot again. People tend to make poor decisions and do stupid things when under the influence. I already do enough stupid things and make enough poor decisions, I don't need any help. 

3.) Quit a job without having another job lined up. I have done this before. It was the biggest mistake ever. My job may not be my dream gig. There may be 4 or 5 days of the week that I would rather pull my covers back up over my head than get up and go into work. But it's a job. And it pretty much pays the bills most of the time. 

4.) Stop doing things I love just because there aren't enough hours in the day or enough dollars in the bank account. I quit painting for years, and I regret it. I always make sure to have lots of paint and brushes and a few canvases in my makeshift art studio now so that I can take to the canvas on a whim (or should my emotional being need a little venting.)

5.) Let my basement (or any room of my house) get like this again. I bought a house far too young, and spent 10 years feeling overwhelmed, buried, helpless and hopeless. I was so worried about hurting feelings that I kept EVERYTHING that was ever given to me. I finally let go of that in the last few months. I've cleaned out almost every room in the house and made it MY space. I am the only one that lives there after all! There is no one I should be trying to please except myself. 

6.) Settle for less than what I want when it comes to my love life. I have always wanted to be in love, so much so that I would settle for any yahoo that would come along and show me the least bit of attention or affection. I have ignored what my gut was telling me so many times just because I thought maybe he would be the one. They never were. When it was actually right, I never had that sinking feeling in my gut.

7.) Give up Diet Coke. I've tried. I can't. And I don't wanna.

8.) Give up my dream of owning a bar/restaurant. I doubt it will ever happen, but I think about it everyday.

9.) Stop doing stupid things to make people laugh. I'm more than willing to make an ass of myself, dress up like a fool, pose for the camera, or any other thing to get a laugh or two. Even if it is at the expense of my dignity.

10.) Go back on anti-depressants. I understand their purpose. I even understand why people need them. Some days, I'm about 99% sure that I need them, but I can't do it. They suck the life out of me. I lost my personality when I took them, and that made me even more depressed. 

December 5: Do These Make My Butt Look Big?

What is the one thing you finally did this year that you always wanted or said you were going to do, but in your heart of hearts never thought you would actually do? courtesy of Amy at http://2bperfectlyfrank.blogspot.com/


2011 turned out to be a year full of changes for me. Not everything I've done this year has been great, and I've definitely made some bad decisions, but those decisions got me to where I am, so I've come to terms with them.
This year has been full of things I always wanted to do but never thought I would. I've fallen madly in love. I've cleaned out my basement. I started painting again. But really, there's one thing that I always wished I could do, but never in a million years dreamed I would. Heck, I even tweeted about how awful it would be for someone like me to do something like this, but I did it anyways. I purchased and wore......SKINNY JEANS! And let me tell you....I was wrong before. I CAN wear them (without the fashion police banging down my door).

December 4: Keri Abell's Diary

In the movie version of your life, which actor/actress would play you and the significant players in your life? What kind of movie is it (e.g., made-for-TV, action, emo/indie, etc.)? What would be the major plot points, and how will it end?

Cast
Keri: Melissa McCarthy (she is the perfect combination of cute and funny. And a stunning plus sized woman with an awesome fashion sense!)

Love Interest: Chris Noth (no, said love interest doesn't actually look like Chris Noth, but Chris/Mr. Big has always been my dream man, and that is exactly what I see when I look at my guy...a charismatic, sexy, charming, funny, protective, manly-man....everything I've always dreamed of.)

Mom: Cloris Leachman (trust me it makes sense.)

Dad: Charles Durning (watch this scene from Home for the Holidays....that is my dad.)

Kristen: Holly Hunter (only because she thinks she's just like Holly Hunter in the aforementioned Home for the Holidays.)

Kelly: Julianne Moore (a bold and attractive woman...that can sometimes be unsure of herself.)

Jen/Best Friend: Kristin Davis (she reminds me so much of Charlotte)

Array of Jackasses I Wasted Too Much Time On: Ryan Gosling, Gerard Butler, Joe Manganiello, Michael Fasbender, Ryan Reynolds (just because they were asses and not one of them as good looking as any of these guys doesn't mean I'm gonna put myself opposite a bunch of unappealing dudes.)

I'm pretty sure that was the fun part of this one. Now for the hard part. My life would most definitely be a Bridget Jones-esque romantic comedy. Lots of laugh at the single girl moments. Hell, I felt like I was watching a moment from my life when Bridget debates between sexy underwear and scary stomach holding in grandma underwear. The only difference is I considered myself smart....I carried the sexy stuff in a pocket in my purse so I could do a quick costume change if necessary. And definitely more than one sad and pathetic drunken stupor singing about being all by myself moments.

Just like Bridget, I'm fairly certain the major plot points would involve my world seemingly being shattered by some giant arse of a guy and some workplace drama. Then I get lots of money struggles and house stuff thrown in for good measure. There would definitely have to be a scene of me under my kitchen sink cussing up a storm while trying to fix it.

The end has yet to be written. I haven't yet had my perfect kiss in the snow to Van Morrison's Someone Like You. I know it is coming soon, and I'll be sure to have the perfect underwear for the moment.

And the sequel hasn't even begun.