Today’s prompt is: What is the stupidest thing you did this year? What about in your whole life? You can take stupid to mean: embarrassing, dangerous, funny, whatever you consider “stupid.”
Anyone that knows me pretty much knows that I haven't lived a day of my life without some cut, scrape, bruise, or other miscellaneous injury. I'm definitely not the most coordinated of individuals. I have a rule that should a loved one ever have discovered that I have fallen in the shower, that they areas me prior to calling the paramedics. These are things one has to consider when one tends to fall...often. Top my dancer like grace off with a willingness to sacrifice my dignity if it'll get a good laugh, and you have a combination that leads to some seriously stupid and extremely embarrassing situations. The fact that I have to choose just one from the last year is almost impossible. But....since that's what the prompt calls for....that is what you shall receive.
It's a short story...one that involved probably a beer or two too many, and a pair of heels that were definitely too high. Combine that with a barstool, and you have a legendary tale no one will ever forget. I went up to the bar and went to sit down on the barstool, however, I lost my footing instead (damn shoes) and bumped the chair causing it to tip over. Please note...this was a metal barstool-very heavy. Stool tips over....me, already having aimed my butt for said stool, cannot stop and fall down right on top of it...leaving immediate bruises and welts all over. My friends' greatest concern...that the chair leg had violated me. They thought my tears of laughter and embarrassment were tears of pain. And I have to admit, I'm quite lucky that the chair leg didn't do as they had suspected. Sadly, no one was really shocked that I had fallen YET AGAIN and the evening continued without additional mishap.
As far as dumbest, most embarrassing, illogical, ignorant thing I've done in my life....all I can say is this....don't move an old school 19" television barefoot. It will break your toes when the tv lands on top of them.
Perhaps that should have been the advice I offered my younger self.
Quite a story there, Keri! I ache on your behalf! :)
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of chairs doing unsavory things to us...
It was the first year Jay and I were dating and we were decorating the tree in my apartment...I needed something from the other room and was jumping down off a dining room chair...the kind that have little spindles on the back...I slipped and didn't really "dismount" properly. I wouldn't say it was a "bulls-eye"...but it was definitely uncomfortable...and SURPRISING. I went running into the bedroom and threw myself onto the bed, crying. Jay though I was really injured...it was mostly just my pride.
Yikes! But knowing you I bet those shoes were damn cute and almost worth the fall.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that happened to you...but I have to admit it is a pretty funny story!! I hope those shoes were cute enough to totally make it all worth it!!
ReplyDeleteI will vouch for Keri - the shoes were cute enough, especially since she has been doing things like this since she was, oh, one. And though she may blame it on the shoes, we both know it was her grace that was really her downfall :-).
ReplyDeleteLove the post!