Not Everybody Likes Change

As you may or may not know, I've made a lot of changes in my life in the last 2 years. I have really worked hard to get where I am, and that meant I finally had to make some decisions that really effected my entire life. I found a number of people who really supported me and silently cheered as I took control of the life I had previously let spin out of control for years. And, I found people who quit calling, quit texting, or I just never saw anymore.
I can't blame them. I wasn't the same carefree,  easy going Keri that I had always been. I decided that I had responsibilities and those had to come before the fun. First and foremost, that meant going out all of the time was no longer an option. I reigned in the spending. I decided that having creditors call me all day on my cell phone and some even at work, just wasn't worth that extra night of fun. I made the decision that going to bed at a decent hour so I could wake up and get to work on time was the path I needed to be on. And it was not an easy path. I went from going out a few times a week to once every few weeks. My friends were never available to do anything when I could (usually early because I go to bed at 9), and they went out too late for me. Our lives were going down very different paths. I would still try on occasion to text or send a facebook message, but after awhile, it became more of a downer for me. I would see pictures on Facebook of fun nights out that I didn't even know were happening. I felt completely rejected. They weren't trying to call or text me either, so my heart said, why bother?
For a few months, I wallowed. I felt very alone and very dark. I dove into my work with wild abandon and let everything else go. I was trying to convince myself that the changes I made were better for me than the alternative. I worked late almost every night and when I wasn't there, I was curled up on my couch being forced to face my emotions head on. Even then I would send out the random, what are you up to text, just to be told everyone was always busy but we definitely needed to hang out and they'd get back to me.
A month ago, I got sick of feeling sad, resentful and lonely.  I knew that was getting me absolutely nowhere and that I was the only one who could do anything about it. So I got in touch with an old friend, one that never went away, and we decided it was time to start kicking my ass. It's been one hell of a journey to get to where I am today, and I am nowhere near done. But some days,  I have to remind myself that some people just don't like change, and move on with my day because I am different and I am never looking back.