The Legend of Lucifer

I just realized as I was titling this post that I should have called him LucifUr and I'm mad at myself for missing out on the opportunity to use that pun. So I was told recently that I should blog. Which means I am clearly not blogging enough. I'll try to be better. I know having the internets at home would help, but I'm cheap and always broke. Not having internet is a way I cut my monthly bills. Anywho....on to the story. This is a bit of a repeat if you follow me on FB. For that I apologize.
I decided this year that I would finally put forth a little effort and work on my yard. I have been in my house since 2000 after all. It's long overdue. My yard is a mess. I have a long way to go, but I started with two pretty orange lilies and some herbs in pots. I planted my herbs and noticed every day when I came home that the dirt in the pots was displaced. I've had squirrels before-those little jerks chewed on my deck-so I thought perhaps it was them. Then I planted my lilies and before one of them could bloom, something ripped all of the buds off. Mind you, the day before I had spotted an ADORABLE little chipmunk scurrying up into a hole in a tree nearby...at the time I thought, "oh, how cute! A chipmunk!" Then I came home to my destroyed lily and I knew what had done it.

My beautiful lily. All the buds ripped off and strewn about. 

 I voraciously researched how to get rid of chipmunks (yes, my research did include asking my FB friends, but I also hit the nets pretty hard.) The most common answers I found involved pellet guns and 5 gallon buckets of water, sunflower seeds and a plank. I may not be an animal LOVER, but I couldn't do it. Besides, who would get rid of their little carcasses because it sure wouldn't be me! So I called my mom (because who else would ya call) and asked to borrow the rodent cage she had...which she reminded me she had given to me a few years ago to catch the squirrels eating my deck. So I ventured out to my garage just Wednesday evening, found the trap and set it. Anyone that knows me knows that I generally don't cook at home (I have a post brewing about dining out) so I didn't have a lot of options for bait. It was either marshmallows and flax seeds or Cinnamon Toast Crunch and pine nuts. I opted for the latter. Apparently Lucifer LOVES Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Lucifur the Destroyer.

I had it strewn all around the cage, and every last morsel was gone. I caught him in less than 24 hours. Today I brought him out to work to release him because it's far enough from home that he shouldn't be able to find his way back, and I work by the facility where a local garden company makes mulch, and I figure he should be able to find a happy new home there.
The day after his capture and release, I came home to find that Lucifer's friends had taken hunks of dirt out of my potted herbs and scattered it all over my clean deck. I had cleaned it in preparation for staining it. Fortunately it has rained a lot and more of their retaliation plot has washed away, but still! Furry little bastards. Once again, I set the trap....

And this time, I captured Major Whistlebritches Johnson. My boss named him. He is convinced that they have a communication system set up underground, much like the military...hence the name. Major Johnson has been released and I haven't noticed as much destruction this week, but I am going to continue to set the trap and use my unique bait to capture them all and reunite them.